It’s time to get to work on changing your habits for the better, forever. I recommend that you choose one major goal to start with. Figure out your habits that surround the goal—3 habits is a good number to start with. Give it your all this month and work on changing your habits to achieve that goal.
By focusing on one major goal that you’d like to achieve for the month, you’ll be more ready to find the change you want to have in your life.
By focusing on three habits that surround that goal (one at a time, one per week), you can reach success more quickly. Once you’ve had that smaller success, you’ll eventually work on changing other habits that will move you toward even bigger goals.
Now it’s time to get into more detail. How are you going to do this and what is it going to take to truly succeed with habit change? Remember, this is all related to goal setting. If you don’t set solid goals that really mean something to you, then you won’t be motivated to follow through and change your habits. There has to be a big Reason Why you’re desperate to change your current situation. There has to be something that’s pulling you through to the finish line, even when the going gets tough.
If you try to tackle habits without an overarching goal and Reason Why, then the chances are good that you will not follow through simply because it doesn’t mean enough for you to follow through. That’s why so many people try to change their habits and fail. If you put that meaning behind it, however, then you are a lot more likely to succeed.
In the following section, I’m going to uncover the steps I recommend you follow if you want to change your habits and achieve your goals.
Identify the Habit You Want To Change
First, you are going to identify the habit you’d like to change and consider why you want to change it—what are your goals related to that habit? Think of a habit that really gets to you– something you know is holding you back in your life, business, career, relationships, or whatever it is. Then, think of the goal that relates to that. Ideally, what would you hope to achieve by changing a particular habit?
The other way to identify a habit you want to change is by starting with the goal instead of starting with the habit. Maybe you’re already aware of what you want to achieve but you’re not really sure which habits are stopping you from achieving what you desire. You’ll have to do some soul-searching to find the answers. This brings us to the next step.
You need to examine your habits objectively. You need to imagine you’re an outsider, looking in. What are your bad habits and how are they holding you back from achieving your goal? What are your good habits and how are they contributing to positive change? What should you be doing that you’re not doing, that you should make a daily habit?
Maybe there are things that you do occasionally that are good, but they aren’t habits because you don’t do them regularly. For example, maybe you skip fattening desserts when you’re at home, but when you eat outside the home you overindulge yourself, and then when you come back from your vacation or trip, you find that you really want something sweet after a meal. If avoiding fattening desserts were really a habit, then you wouldn’t think twice about skipping them.
Really think hard about this and what the answers are for you. It’s hard to be objective about your own habits. You might tend to be too easy on yourself. Most likely, however, you’re going to be too hard on yourself. You need to give yourself a break and try to leave your emotions out of this. It really doesn’t matter what your habits are or aren’t right now– what matters is that you’re on a journey to change your habits for the better because you have major goals and you’re determined to succeed.
Examine Your Emotions
A big part of this comes in with the next step. You need to examine your emotions surrounding your habits and goals. When you fall prey to a certain bad and unproductive habit, what are the emotions there? Do you feel that way simply because it’s comfortable? Does the bad habit make you happy in the short term but absolutely miserable in the long term? Think about it. You need to know what’s making you happy and what’s making you sad. You need to know what’s contributing to your negative views about your self-worth.
Remember that humans tend to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Some of these habits are habits for you as a consequence of that. Even if the habits are destructive in the long term, they fulfill your need to seek pleasure right now. Even if the change in habit wouldn’t really be that bad emotionally, simply the fact that it is a change can lead to some emotional difficulties for you.
One step that can help is trying to identify where the habit came from. If it is something that stems from a bad pattern in your childhood, you can identify that and take steps to start new habits that will serve you better now that you’re an adult. It might be that a certain traumatic event really stands out for you, even subconsciously, and has forced you to adopt some bad habits and patterns in your life.
These things can hold you back from achieving your goals. It might be that someone told you a certain thing about yourself when you were young and that developed into a negative self-concept for yourself that holds true even today. If you identify whatever it is from your past, you can more easily conquer it.
Poor habits certainly aren’t always rooted in childhood, of course. Sometimes, life gets you down. There are certain things that happen that shape who you are for the long term. Having difficulty financially or at home or at work can be very depressing.
Even if you aren’t technically depressed, you might not be happy with where you are right now. Bad habits and negative events can lead to more bad habits. It’s a cycle. It might be that you were on track a few years ago but something happened that knocked you down. You need to identify that so you can move forward.
Why Do You Want To Change The Habit?
Now, it can be helpful to dig deep to figure out why you’d like to change the habit. Hopefully, you’ve followed my advice and have attached a goal and a Reason Why to your habit. If you don’t know why you’re trying to change a habit then you’re not very likely to follow through. But, if you know that you have a goal you want to achieve and that you’ll have an easier time of it if you change a habit or add a new one, you have a much better chance of success.
How Are You Going To Change The Habit?
Then, you need to think about how you’re actually going to change the habit. It’s one thing to decide to change it; it’s another thing altogether to actually formulate a plan you know is going to work for lasting change. It’s often a matter of practice and repetition.
The more you do something, the more likely it is to become a habit. The point is that you’re going to be really aware of this habit right now, but you want to get to the point where it becomes a true habit– something that happens on autopilot… something you do without thinking about it. If you form positive habits that occur with your active input now, your life will function so much more smoothly on autopilot, later.
But other times, you really need to work hard to actively change a habit. It might not be enough to rely on repetition for a certain habit. You might have to study and learn more before you’re able to do that. You might need to expand your knowledge or skill set. This does add another barrier to success. But, at least you’ll be aware of the fact that you need to learn and study before moving on.
Journal and Brainstorm
Next, it’s helpful to brainstorm and journal your thoughts and feelings surrounding the habit. It’s important to write about your goals as well. There’s something magical about writing your thoughts down that can’t be beat. Getting the pen to the paper activates a certain part of the brain that typing on a keyboard does not, of that I’m convinced.
I recommend you get a beautifully bound journal that makes you feel good to write in. Many people like hardback executive notebooks. Others like to have a small notebook or journal they can carry around in their pocket. There are some beautiful leather journals out there.
Get a pen you will really enjoy writing with. It might sound silly, but these seemingly simple details can do a lot for your ability to brainstorm and feel free… and for your motivation to actually write in your journal. Remember, your environment matters a lot when it comes to habit change, and that extends to what you write on and what you write with.
In the beginning, you’ll want to let your thoughts flow freely when you brainstorm and journal. Write down all the habits you want to change. Write down all the major goals you have. Write down your Reason Why. This is a sort of brain dump that frees your mind to make the important decisions that are to come. This is a wonderful thing.
Once you’ve done your “brain dump” you can start to zero in on the goal you’d like to tackle first. Then, you can get real with yourself as you identify the habits you are and are not following through with that do or do not contribute to your success.
It’s all connected– your habits help you succeed or not succeed. There are certain habits you can form that will help you reach your goals more quickly. There are certain habits you must eliminate if you want to reach your goals more quickly. You need to identify those things and journaling can help you in a practical and emotional way. I highly recommend it, even if you’ve never turned to journaling or pen and paper brainstorming before.
Make a Shift toward Change Every Day
Once you’ve chosen the habits you’d like to change and the major goal you’re trying to achieve for that month, it’s important to make a shift toward change every day. You need to know what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. You need to know that, every day, you’re getting a step closer to achieving your goals. Remember to focus on just one habit at a time.
Habit change is something you’ll be extremely conscious of in the beginning but not as much as time goes on. That’s the goal– you want these things to start to work on autopilot. But in the beginning, you’ll have to work hard against the pull of the old habit and work hard on making the new habit something that’s simply ingrained in you. It’s easier said than done, but the focus you’ll have and the steps you’ll have gone through will help you succeed.
Be Mindful Of the Target Every Day
It’s important to be mindful of both the habit you’re working on and of your goal, every day. You need to write about it, revisit it, and invest in it daily. If you let it slip out of your mind that you’re even working on this habit, it will be easier to forget about it the next day and the day after that. Before you know it, you’ll look back a month later and realize that you haven’t made any real progress.
Daily mindfulness will help you succeed. Whether it’s a big habit or a small habit, you need to be mindful of it. You need to evaluate how you’re doing and what you need to change to create this new and better habit. This really doesn’t take a lot of time every day and being mindful can dramatically improve your chances of success, so there’s no real reason why you should shy away from daily mindfulness of your habits, progress, and goals.
The Power of Visualization
There’s another step that might really help you. In fact, this step is so helpful that it really deserves its own book. The step is visualization. Visualization is something major athletes and stars do to help ensure their success. These are people who are so highly focused on their goals that it’s inevitable that they will achieve them.
Visualization is what you do to cement the realness of your goals in your mind. It’s important to visualize yourself becoming successful. You should also visualize yourself successfully going through the steps to change and add productive habits. This does something to program your brain that helps make it inevitable that you will succeed.
Keep Your Eye on the Prize
You need to keep your eye on the prize by making your goals and your Reason Why you’re taking action front and center. Whether this means meditating on your goals and habits, praying about your goals and habits, writing it down, or visualizing your success, you need to do it daily.
If you keep your goals, plans, and pathways at the forefront of your life, it will be so much easier to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve. This is a given. This is what separates the truly successful people apart from those who aren’t so successful. You want to change your habits for the better, so you need to make it a daily effort surrounded by positive emotions and active awareness.
These steps in combination are the true secret to success. Daily repetition and having goals and a Reason Why will motivate you to not only start your journey, but to follow through and succeed. You can’t keep doing the same old things and expect to get the same results. What you can do is follow this advice so you can change your habits for the better.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download