Understanding the Psychology of Your Coaching Clients (Podcast #120)

You have to understand a bit about human psychology if you want to be an effective coach. People can be disappointing. They don’t do things just because they know they should do them. You’ve dealt with it in your own life— you’d have gotten a lot further in your own business if you did everything perfectly all the time. Why do we do the things we do?

If you understand human behavior, you can help direct it. You can start to understand why some people fail and why some succeed. Pay attention to human psychology and you’ll become an extremely effective coach.

Why Don’t People Succeed?

People talk a good game. They say they are willing to go the distance. They’re willing to do what it takes to succeed. They’ll hire you as a coach, talking a good game about how they’re going to make it happen this time.

But, they don’t. Why is that? It’s because they’re human. It takes time and energy to understand the psychology of success— that’s one of the great benefits you’re going to bring them as their coach.

Most of the people you work with will have succeeded at least on some level. They’ll wonder how they can be motivated and successful with some things and not other things. It’s very common— and part of it has to do with the fear of success. They allow themselves to succeed “just enough” to get by. But anything else seems too scary— whether they realize it or not.

Another reason they haven’t succeeded on the level they want is that they don’t learn from their mistakes or successes. People have a tendency to not learn from what they did right or wrong. You’re going to coach them to learn from their mistakes. You’re going to teach them to analyze those times where they were really successful so they can rinse and repeat.

How to Relate Your Success

It’s very likely that, while you’re successful, you wish you were even more successful. You’ll learn a lot about your own success and motivations by coaching others.

But, you have to realize that they aren’t you. What holds them back may not be what holds you back. It might drive you crazy wondering why they won’t just take action and do what they need to do to succeed.

That’s your job as coach— if it were that easy, everyone would be able to do it. We’d all be rich and doing whatever we wanted. Instead, we’re human. You have to figure out how to help your coaching clients move forward and succeed no matter what their issues might be.

Feeling Overwhelmed

It might be that your coaching client knows exactly what to do. They’re really motivated and they know they have to make this work. Yet, they’re stuck in place anyway— paralyzed, even. How can this be? It might be that they’re totally overwhelmed.

Some people work well when they have a lot going on. It motivates them to push forward and do better. They’re great at multitasking and don’t feel like they’re doing anything worthwhile if there isn’t a lot on their plate.

I’m here to tell you that the people who function like that are few and far between. The people who come to you most likely have way too much on their plate. They most likely don’t function well when they have so much going on they can’t think straight.

Most of the people who come to you for coaching will probably be self-employed. They’re responsible for their own success. They choose which projects they take on and when they complete them. This is a great way to live, but it also opens the door for procrastination and poor work habits.

They want to succeed but they just can’t seem to get it right. There’s so much to do that they can’t do anything at all. You have to help them pare down their to-do list so only the most essential things are on it. They don’t have to do a million and one things to be successful— they just have to do the things that are truly going to move their business forward.

You have to teach your clients to simplify. Do that, and they’ll be a lot more successful.

Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation

There are many different reasons why someone might want to be successful in business. Some of these reasons are intrinsic and some of these reasons are extrinsic. Intrinsic factors come from themselves— their internal desires. Extrinsic factors come from outside of themselves.

Ideally, the people you work with will be motivated by both sets of factors. They should want to succeed because it makes them feel good and gives them a sense of purpose. They should also want to succeed because it will help them earn more, will help their family, and will help them accomplish a number of external goals.

They Have to Believe It Can Happen

Mindset is a huge part of success in business. If someone doesn’t believe they can achieve, they most likely won’t. If someone has very lofty goals but doesn’t think they can hack it, they most likely won’t.

Believing that we can’t actually do it doesn’t always stop us from setting lofty goals, nor should it. But we also have to have a mindset of success. We have to know that, no matter what, we’re going to push forward and succeed.

Some of the people you work with will come up with every excuse in the book for why they can’t or won’t do things. It’s your job to get to the root of this to figure out how you can move them beyond it.

The Environment Is a Factor

We’re a product of our environment. If someone is surrounded not only by self-doubt but also by the doubt of others, they’ll be a lot less likely to succeed.

If someone has a poor work environment and poor work habits, they’ll be a lot less likely to succeed. It’s a shame, but many people in business aren’t really set up like they are. They treat business as more of a hobby and then wonder why they don’t succeed.

Sometimes, the simple act of changing their environment can do a lot for them on a mindset level. They’ll start to take themselves seriously.

They also have to steel themselves against the doubts of others, self-doubt, and other things that can hold them back in their environment. They should be able to push forward no matter what— and you’re going to help get them to that place.

Taking Responsibility for Success

Sometimes, you’ll find that your coaching clients place responsibility for success or failure in business outside of themselves. They blame other people or situations for their downfalls. Some take credit for success but others distance themselves even from that.

As a coach, you need to help your client see that they are fully responsible for their success. Other people and situations don’t determine success or failure— they do. This mindset switch can help them achieve success more quickly.

Moving Beyond Mistakes

Some people seem unable to move beyond their mistakes. You’ll notice some of your coaching clients talking again and again about certain mistakes they’ve made or problems they’ve had. They seem fixated on these things, unable to move forward.

You have to help them understand that you can’t have success without mistakes. Mistakes are the building blocks of success. Help them have a mindset switch about these mistakes and you’ll help them make a lot more progress.

Being Scared of Business

Some people you coach will seem scared. They’ll seem scared to try new things or even to implement their daily to-do list. Sometimes, it’s a matter of figuring out what’s causing their anxiety. It might be that there are other things going on in their life that increases their anxiety level— this can spill over into their work life as well.

Many people have a fear of failure. They know they should try new things and take risks but it seems impossible because they’re so worried they’ll fail. They’re not doing their best right now, but at least life is familiar… no matter how bad things really are.

The same can be said for the fear of success. People get comfortable with where they are. They might honestly believe that they need and want more, but something holds them back. It’s often the fear of success and the fear of change. Earning a lot more money or becoming one of the top people in their field will undoubtedly change their life. That can be a very scary concept.

As a coach, you have to help people understand this about themselves. Many of them won’t have ever considered it. Help them consider it. Help them work through it. Encourage them to journal about it and to turn it over from every angle. This will help them get their breakthrough.

The Psychology of Success

There are so many different things to consider when it comes to understanding your coaching clients. Each person will offer a different challenge. Consider these concepts. Follow your intuition and do some more digging on what you think is holding you back. You can find more information on psychology and even full research studies that can help people move past their boundaries.

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